Every time I pick up a T-shirt, all the issues resolve themselves

Gave an old iPhone as a Christmas present and had to suck it up like a new one

Chose games over sex? Find a different approach — from under the covers

Didn't let me play The Witcher — took the keyboard and sat on top of it

I slap her ass so she won't be too lazy to jump on my dick

Blew the guy's mind on the first day of self-isolation, but at least she sucked

Called an ambulance and had a domestic coronavirus test